You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
