I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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