I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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