I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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