get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
