so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
