where am i from again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
