I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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