I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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