ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My breasts were aching with rage.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
