i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
