Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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