i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize