You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
