We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
