Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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