Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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