I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm just crazy horny about you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
