just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
