i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
