no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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