I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
