I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Bring me that man meat
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
