I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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