We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
