hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
