we have officially lost it.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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