Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
