Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
