What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I party with great urgency now.
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