I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
