have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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