He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
