its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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