Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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