it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When are your genitals available?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
