i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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