before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
time to smoke my breakfast
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
