What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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