No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
