Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
