I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
