Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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