Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
