you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
