This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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