sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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