I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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