I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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