At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
