Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
