One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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