I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
