Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
